One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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