lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
