i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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