I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
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Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
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We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
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