Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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