something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
