I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
