Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Randomize
