the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
