I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
