I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
