it's not cheating when I paid for it
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I miss vodka workout Fridays
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
