3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
