Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Randomize
