There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
