But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I wear drunk well.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
