there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
