Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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