can we get nightvision for the apartment?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Randomize
