is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
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We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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