She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
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