Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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