I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
