STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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