I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
