Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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