i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Randomize