Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
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There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
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I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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