And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
