bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize