the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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