So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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