im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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