this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
