You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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