Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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