we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
