People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
