Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
