i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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