dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
