Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
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