Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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