I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
