i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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