I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
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How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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