I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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