upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
That's how pantless uber rides happen
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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