Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...

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  (248): I fell asleep on the toilet again last night... http://tfl.nu/rzc7
  Replies (3) Good night (834) Bad night (984)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  let's bang

  (773): View more from Illinois

  You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.

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  (216): let's bang (773): You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no. http://tfl.nu/cr4i
  Replies (68) Good night (1578) Bad night (6524)
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  (409): View more from Texas

  We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus

  (1-409): View more from Texas

  How are you texting me from 1998?

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  (409): We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus (1-409): How are you texting me from 1998? http://tfl.nu/t1vq
  Replies (27) Good night (8893) Bad night (1415)
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  (631): View more from New York

  Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.

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  (631): Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick. http://tfl.nu/pj3f
  Replies (12) Good night (4057) Bad night (1117)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.

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  (734): I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present. http://tfl.nu/7tah
  Replies (12) Good night (5077) Bad night (916)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD

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  (404): I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD http://tfl.nu/5vxn
  Replies (20) Good night (968) Bad night (5886)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!

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  (817): Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?! http://tfl.nu/9bqy
  Replies (10) Good night (2107) Bad night (872)
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  (323): View more from California

  I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel

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  (323): I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel http://tfl.nu/ythu
  Replies (5) Good night (1506) Bad night (627)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again

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  (781): I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again http://tfl.nu/5dv2
  Replies (2) Good night (1013) Bad night (593)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?

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  (203): If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom? http://tfl.nu/eshu
  Replies (12) Good night (1096) Bad night (911)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.

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  (706): You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT. http://tfl.nu/osv9
  Replies (4) Good night (1088) Bad night (481)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?

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  (508): I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself? http://tfl.nu/e252
  Replies (3) Good night (1120) Bad night (521)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment

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  (603): We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment http://tfl.nu/662i
  Replies (2) Good night (717) Bad night (318)
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  (518): View more from New York

  Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.

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  (518): Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window. http://tfl.nu/wq4x
  Replies (4) Good night (705) Bad night (324)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.

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  (505): No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back. http://tfl.nu/rjsp
  Replies (0) Good night (128) Bad night (305)

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