hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.