the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
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