I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Deaf chicks here I come
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.