I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
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he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
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I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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