dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
