fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
