You just made me feel so damn special
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Randomize
