ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize