please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I am naked and annoyed.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
