this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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