Pregnant stripper...not hot.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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