the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
