The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
