so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
