She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
